


The things I never told you

by bulletwithbutterflywings



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Seth being a cutie because I'm a sucker for it ok, ambrollins - Freeform, angst and whatever, because I needed this, bringing back their past and the Shield because we can't have mere fluff with these two, lots of crying also bc emotional distress, super self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 13:12:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11921631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bulletwithbutterflywings/pseuds/bulletwithbutterflywings
Summary: Timeline:August 2017, soon after Summerslam.He really wanted to be part of Dean's life again, but he didn't own the key to his heart anymore because he had thrown it away to be the Authority's puppet... despite everything he had said to convince him to move on, he knew deep inside that Dean had all the rights to keep him out of it. But Seth Rollins wasn't one to give up easily, especially when it was about Dean Ambrose.





	The things I never told you

**Author's Note:**

> The last weeks have left me with tons of feels, so I couldn't hold myself. This one-shot is dedicated to all my friends and fellow shippers who struggled like me for the past two years. It's nothing special, but I put my heart into it.  
> Also, Roman and Cena teaming up on Raw was the spark that inspired this one shot. I hope it doesn't suck too much lol.

Seth was walking backstage after the show, with his red and silver belt on the shoulder. He was holding it like he had never held any other belt before, not even the World Heavyweight Championship when none could take it from him for seven months: it wasn't just a matter of prestige, because that title had a way deeper meaning for him.  
  
The past weeks had been a whirlwind of emotions, and he couldn't believe yet all those things had happened for real: he and Dean working together as a tag team, the neverending conflicts with him coming to an end, their feud with Sheamus and Cesaro on the road to Summerslam, being tag team champ again. And the fact that Dean was now the youngest wrestler to become Grand Slam champion, and that he had achieved this goal  _with him_. It was really a lot to deal with for his mind, and he definitely needed some more time to process it all.  
  
He slowly pushed the door of the locker room and stepped inside: none else was there, except for his tag team partner.  
  
Ambrose was sitting on a bench, his own belt laying on his knees: he was staring at it brushing the silver plate with his fingertips, completely lost in his thoughts; those thoughts Seth knew he wasn't still allowed to access, despite they were both finally on the same page, despite everything they had been through so far as partners. Despite Dean _knew_ he could trust him again. But what he said in the ring a few Mondays before, when they eventually managed to let bygones be bygones, wasn't completely wrong: maybe too much had really happened between them two to leave all the old resentments behind.  
  
He acknowledged he had rushed things a bit with him: Dean wasn't ready to accept his apologies yet when the question was suddenly brought up inside the ring, in front of the whole WWE universe, but Seth felt he couldn't hold himself anymore at that point... _he had_ to face it once and for all, or he wouldn't be able to do it ever again.  
  
\- Hey - said the Iowan with a tender smile on his lips, stopping right in front of the other. Dean lifted his gaze on him for a quick moment and returned the smile with a nod, unable to hide a shade of sadness in his expression.  
  
\- Hey.  
  
He had never been a chatty person, especially when he was caught in the middle of a self reflection.  
  
Seth sat down at his side and placed his own belt on his thighs, so that he could look at it close to Dean's one.  
  
\- They're beautiful, ain't they? - he said softly, but with an undeniable tone of pride in his voice.  
  
\- Yeah - replied the blonde, still staring at the shining plate absentmindedly; but after some seconds of silence, he added:  
  
\- Maybe it's the reason for Roman and Cena are coming after them.  
  
Another couple of seconds passed before Seth asked him, genuinely concerned:  
  
\- Are you afraid to lose to them?  
  
\- Yeah - said Dean again with a soft sigh, unable to keep his eyes off the red belt.  
  
Behind that stare there was a whole world Seth wanted to know so badly: he longed for it, like he had never longed for anything else. He really wanted to be part of Dean's life again, but he didn't own the key to his heart anymore because he had thrown it away to become the Authority's puppet... despite everything he had said to convince him to move on, he knew deep inside that Dean had all the rights to keep him out of it. But Seth Rollins wasn't one to give up easily, especially when it came to Dean Ambrose: years spent literally hunting each other in every way possible were a solid proof of it; and Dean Ambrose was the only person on planet Earth that could make him lose control of his emotions. Without thinking, he put his hand on the other's, and looked straight into his eyes:  
  
\- Don't be.  
  
Dean's body stiffened at the contact: yet, he didn't pull his hand back, letting the the other's warmth create an invisible bond between them. He had missed Seth's touch so much.  
  
\- Aren't you? - he asked back, a slightly confused expression crossing his face.  
  
Seth kept his hand and his eyes firmly on the man; he took a deep breath, because what he was about to tell him was something too important he had never said before... not even to himself.  
  
\- Since the moment we teamed up again, I haven't been afraid of anything anymore.  
  
The blonde was looking back at him, speechless. He wished he was able to talk about his feelings for Seth so openly, but he couldn't, because he was still scared of getting burnt again. On the other hand, Seth knew it was too much to handle for Dean now, but he swallowed and gathered all his courage to go on: he had too many things to take off his chest at that point.  
  
\- You know... when I think about all the things happened during these weeks, I can't believe it's being real. I have been wishing for this for so long, Dean... for _too_ long. I know I made a huge mistake when I left the Shield, and I can't blame you for not trusting me completely yet; but I swear, if my word still means something to you, I have regretted it every single day of my life, cause being the World Heavyweight Champion wasn't worth the destruction of our friendship. And being here now, side by side with you again, is the most important thing for me... the only one that really matters. Cause I know that when I'm with you, I could face a whole army without any fear.  
  
He was the one to pull his hand back, then: his heart was beating incredibly fast, and the pulse was echoing in his head like a jackhammer.

Dean kept staring at him, trying to look puzzled: he was deeply touched by Seth's words, but he didn't want to show it at any cost.  
  
\- And Roman? Didn't you want to be with him again as well? - he asked to change the subject. Seth lowered his gaze for a moment, a wistful smile bending his lips.  
  
\- I love you both - he sighed. - I knew he needed help when Jericho and Owens were chasing his US title, so I stepped in to his aid as I did for you. He knows I still care for him too despite everything... we didn't even need to talk about it. But you know, the love I've always felt for Roman is a bit different... it's the kind of affection a man has for a brother or a good friend...  
  
At those words, Dean froze: did Seth really say that? Did he mean that the love he felt for him was _something more_ than the love for a friend or a brother?  
  
Seth couldn't help but notice how his tag team partner looked astonished: he was finally starting to get it. It was now or never.  
  
\- You never realised it, huh? - he said with a sad smirk, watching his own feet. - Yeah... my feelings for you used to cross the boundaries of our brotherhood, Dean-o. I didn't call you my _wrestling soulmate_ for nothing... even when I was tag team champion with Roman, deep inside I wished it had happened with you, like now.

He paused for a second, took a deep breath and then continued, lifting his gaze to Dean's:

\- _I loved you_ , Dean, like I never loved anyone else, and I kept doing it despite my love was unrequited. I knew you cared more about Roman than me, and that I couldn't do anything about it. And when Hunter came to me with his cursed offer that night, he knew it damn well too...  
  
At that point Seth stopped suddenly, aware that he was going too far. He didn't want to talk about _that_ , not yet, because he wasn't ready either... but it was too late, because Dean had heard it and was looking at him in shock: the whole speech had left him wordless, but the last statement had literally hit him like a truck.  
  
\- Wait... what the hell are you talking about, Seth?!  
  
The brunette bit his lower lip and looked away, his cheeks flushing hard.  
  
\- I never preferred Roman to you! - the Ohioan exclaimed before the other could reply anything, getting short of breath - You were important to me as much as he was!  
  
\- Oh, come on! - Seth retorted with a growl, immediately regretting it. The thought of all that was still hurting as hell, but he didn't want to ruin that special moment with blames about their past.  
  
\- Are you seriously telling me that... that you betrayed us because you thought I didn't love you back?! - Dean yelled, unbelieving: he couldn't accept that, because it was like Seth was backstabbing him for the second time. He grabbed the man by his shoulders and tightened the grip, as if he wanted to squeeze the truth out of him that way.  
  
Seth felt trapped. It wasn't the way Dean was holding him: it was the numberless times he had swept his feelings under the rug suddenly resurfacing. Sharp blue eyes were digging holes deep down his soul, but he kept looking away without replying, trying to resist that overwhelming force.  
  
\- Seth!! - the blonde insisted with raging desperation, sinking his fingertips deeper inside his flesh - How can you expect me to trust you if you keep hiding and running away?!  
  
At that point, the Iowan couldn't help himself anymore:  
  
\- I was weak, Dean!! I was weak as fuck!! - he finally exploded, his eyes watering on the verge of tears - I tried to keep the team together for months, but the only thing you cared about was fighting with Roman over who had the biggest dick between you two! I ended up feeling totally useless, and the Authority stretched out their hand to me when I had reached my lowest point!!  
  
It was like Dean had been struck by lightning: he let go of Seth, his arms falling down on his own thighs. And in that very moment, the Iowan realised that his old muted anger was speaking on his behalf. He shut up, letting some seconds pass to reconnect his brain to rational thoughts, and then he went ahead, his voice still breaking with emotion:  
  
\- Look, I'm... I'm not trying to find excuses. I know what I did, and I'm taking full responsibility for my actions, but... Hunter knew the buttons he had to push. I fell into his web because he took advantage of my biggest weakness... **_you_**. I realised it too damn late, Dean, and I curse myself every day for it.  
  
\- Fuck... - the blonde whispered, shaking his head in disbelief.  
  
Seth looked at him again, with a mix of sadness and regret in his expression. He hesitantly put his hand on Dean's arm, without knowing exactly what to do. He had never felt that way before in his entire life: the castle of lies they both had been hiding into was inescapably crumbling down.  
  
Dean started talking again with low voice, staring at the floor:

\- I... I never considered you any less than anyone, Seth. I loved you too. You were my family, I would have given my life for you.

For the first time ever, he was fathoming the real meaning behind those words: he would have truly given everything to Seth, that's why the scars left by his betrayal were still burning, but he wasn't aware of it.  
  
During all those weeks, he had thought that Seth's apologies weren't enough for him, that he needed to hear something else from his mouth to move on completely; but in that locker room, that day, Dean was finally realising he wasn't ready to hear from Seth the reason for he had walked away three years earlier, because he hadn't made up yet with his own inner demons. He had always been so focused on his anger that he had never stopped for one second to think about his mistakes, during and after the Shield. And blindly, he had carried on with his obsessive vengeance for that betrayal because deep down, subconsciously, he knew the Iowan had exposed him for what he really was: a self-centred asshole who couldn't handle the concept of family without screwing it, who gave Seth's and his own feelings for granted, and who acknowledged what he used to have only after he lost it.  
  
He had to admit it: Roman, stuck in his big brother role, had been a better person; he didn't need apologies because he wasn't one to hold grudges, and probably, all things considered, he had done the right thing... Seth had betrayed them, but Dean had never even tried to figure out _why_.

The brunette sighed, speaking even lower:  
  
\- I'm so sorry, Dean. For everything I dragged you into. I know it's not easy for you, but... I just want us to be together as we were once. These two titles, they mean the world to me, cause they're the embodiment of my second chance to be by your side again, no matter what. I... I love you, brother. I just hope you will forgive me one day.  
  
He was about to turn away again and get out of there, but before he could move, Dean held him: he cupped his face with both hands, rubbing gently the sides of his mouth with his thumbs, and told him with his deep, raspy voice:  
  
\- I already did.  
  
Seth looked at him, his eyes wide open, holding his breath. Dean couldn't help but giving him a little smile, because those eyes had always been his biggest weakness, and still keeping the Iowan's face in his hands he finally asked him:  
  
\- ... and you? Will you ever forgive me?  
  
\- Dean, I... - Seth's voice was just a barely audible whisper: he just put his hands over Dean's and nodded in silence, while teardrops finally started running down his face.  
  
At that point, the blonde pulled him closer and kissed softly his wet cheek to stop their fall, as if he wanted to wipe all the sorrow off of him that way; and then, with painful slowness, he pressed his own lips on Seth's, for a moment that seemed endless.  
  
Seth kissed him back with all the love he was capable of, blood flowing in his veins at the speed of light: he threw his arms around his neck and held him tight, melting with him in that hug... whatever the rest of the world could say, he knew he and Dean were meant to be. And from then on, none would have ever kept them apart anymore. It was a promise.

**Author's Note:**

> One year later, I have read this one-shot again, and I realised that it was definitely too rushed and unbalanced on Dean's side, which is not what I wanted and which was probably what made me unhappy of the outcome every time I looked at it. Hence, I have basically rewritten the ending, and taken up the cudgels on behalf of Seth's character, who definitely deserved some recognition.


End file.
